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June 06, 2003

once mighty, now fallen


Any swinging dead cat is odds-on gonna hit a public figure who sucks and always has: P-Diddy, Geraldo Rivera, Carrot Top, Creed, Vin Diesel, Mariah Carey. The world's lousy with 'em, and you know when they wash up that the tide will eventually wash 'em back out again. (It sometimes takes awhile, given the whole "impossible to underestimate the public" thing.)

But what about the ones you used to be able to count on, the ones you could share knowing looks about, the ones whose next trick you eagerly anticipated.... The ones who have now so thoroughly strip-mined their souls for payoffs in money or ego that you now wince at ever taking pleasure, guilty or honorable, in their efforts. The ones who have run headlong into a quagmire of hubristic sucking so viscuous and bottomless that there may be no union-scale indie-film supporting role or back-to-basics album produced by Steve Albini (who might make the list himself) that can save them now.

Just supposing this became a semi-regular feature, my list might include, oh, Robin Williams, David Lee Roth, Nicholas Cage (oh, but he's wavering!), Chevy Chase, Sting, Aerosmith, Henry Rollins, Harrison Ford, Courtney Love, the Democratic Party.... You could argue that some have always sucked, or that some don't really suck now--go ahead, that and your own suggestions are what the Comments button is for.

But here's what triggered the post: If you've been thinking about Dennis Miller at all lately, this might be what you (in the voice of his own bad 1988 self) were thinking.

Posted by pk at June 6, 2003 07:22 PM

Comments

Vin Diesel most certainly did not always suck. He had a moment of goodness in "Pitch Black." Then he started sucking.

Posted by: mph at June 6, 2003 09:09 PM

Only because looking and sounding like he'd just begun walking erectly was part of his character.

He sucks.

Posted by: Cristina at June 9, 2003 11:49 PM